The only thing we knew was that we would never amount to anything

[humanitysacrifice]

It was nothing out of the ordinary, these days. Teru had gotten used to it. He had gotten used to the pain as well.
He sat in the nurse office, catching his breath. His newest set of bruises had been treated and now he had some time to relax before he could go on with his life. He'd been meaning to go out earlier, but the nurse wouldn't let him.
Teru stared down at his hands. They were scratched open from the moment he'd hit the ground and tried to steady himself.
Nothing out of the ordinary these days. He'd have to let his glasses be fixed though. They'd fallen down as he took a punch to the face and then gotten crushed under someone's foot along with some of his other belongings.
The remnants were placed on a little table in the room.

Teru sighed. This wasn't good. He could take hits on his body, but he disliked when his things were damaged. Still, he felt something like apathy come over him. His head hurt, everything hurt, but he paid no attention. The boy closed his eyes, waiting for the allowance to leave the room again.

Comments

[finalarbiter.livejournal.com]

The phrasing made Light pause. Convince them to act the right way—I knew it! Light felt silently vindicated. No-one was pure in this world, no-one could be, which meant Mikami was not righteous, he was arrogant. It's a fact that Light understood very early on, that altruism was a farce; under every good intention was some kind of hidden benefit, all you had to do was look. And if you couldn't find one, you simply weren't looking hard enough. Suddenly, Mikami became that much more relatable as he too, became a piece that clicked into it's place in Light's map of the world. One more source of validation. The two of them may have had common beliefs, but Light finally understood the other boy's angle. Feeling much more pleased with himself, Light returned the friendly demeanor, despite not missing the subtle accusation in Mikami's comment. Of course Light was part of the crowd, he wasn't going to pick losing fights after all.

"I don't disagree with you. These days, it seems wherever you look, the world is black or white. Good or evil. Binary terms, in other words. But if you make an enemy of the masses, who will be your allies?"

[takesallbullets.livejournal.com]

Nobody. Teru felt like shouting it out, screaming it at Light and the world in general. There was nobody, there hadn't been a single person over the last months, the last year. There was just him and all of the pain, everyday. Just him, nobody else.
He was alone with the feeling of losing, a wall of people coming at him and the eyes. Cold and lifeless eyes staring at him, observing, condescending, from up above. Like he was not a human being. Like he wasn't worth a thing.
But that was wrong, just so wrong. They were the inhuman ones, inhuman and cruel, not deserving.... not deserving...

Teru knew he had to stop this, these feelings. He was going crazy and if he was, that wouldn't help anybody. He had to bite them down, lock them away and make them disappear. If he started to think this way, he'd lose what he was fighting for. He had to hold on to it with everything he had, because that reason... That reason was the reason he was living.
Make the world a better place. Protect. He wasn't after revenge, he should not hate mindlessly. Just protect and hate just enough to be able to do so.

It was harder. Harder than everything in the world and he knew he was fighting a hopeless battle.

Teru looked at Light, his face blank.
"And if you sit back and watch? Who will be there to make a difference?", he asked tonelessly. There was not accusation in his voice anymore, just nothing. Maybe it made the accusation even worse. Teru didn't realize.
"There would not be anybody to save the victims."
Somehow he still could not consider himself one, because that would be finally accepting that there was nobody to save him, to come for him. If he kept pretending he was not a victim, even though these days they went after him and him alone, even when he wasn't doing anything wrong, he could still pretend he did not need help either.

"They did nothing to deserve such pain. It is not right to just let it happen, let them get hurt."
The way he talked made obvious that he really was not talking about himself. He was righteous. He did not need a saviour to make him keep believing in a good and righteous life, to prevent him from turning bitter, an offender himself.
And he could shoulder the pain as well. Teru just couldn't realize, that he was just the same as the people he fought for. That he just needed one person to fight for him and tell him we was doing well. He would probably not ever realize it in his entire life.

Sorry so late!

[solsticeanew]

Light raised an eyebrow at the explanation. Once again, he didn't necessarily disagree with anything Teru said, but at the same time there was something almost funny about it. Not in the overtly humorous sense, but in an ironic sense. See, no matter how prettily Mikami dressed up what he was doing, it was obvious to everyone that Mikami was also a victim. He was covered in bruises, his face was swollen and even his glasses were broken. Perfect checkmarks down a list of what described a victim.

"They?" Light began incredulously, but he stopped himself before finishing the rest of his own accusation. Take a good look at yourself.

Admittedly Mikami's continued jabs at Light's own inaction was beginning to leave behind little annoying scratches that he couldn't brush off easily. They shouldn't have. Light was well aware that Mikami's position was ridiculous. What Mikami was doing wasn't "saving" victims. He was creating one out of himself for everyone to hate. He was becoming everyone's scapegoat and telling himself he was making a difference. How would that help anyone when even the other victims turned their backs on you because of how weak you looked? No one wants to be on the losing side; no one likes to lose. it's part of the arrogance of human nature to want to win.

But the final conclusion Light reached was that it was damn pitiful. A world in which people like Mikami were seen as nothing more than losers was terrible. But Light already knew that. It was why he stopped caring about society. But all this uncaring left Light quite bored. Perhaps this might change that.

After giving his ankle a casual prod and wincing, he began speaking quietly. "Personally, I don't think anyone deserves to get hurt. You're right though, if no-one stands up at all, nothing will change. But it is also true that one person can't change the world alone." He offered a small smile. "In other words, Mikami-san, let's get along from now on."

Don't worry about it~ <3

[takesallbullets.livejournal.com]

For a moment Teru did nothing but stare, his eyes wide in surprise. He felt unable to comprehend what Light had just said, simple and tentative as the words in themselves were.
It had been quite a while since anybody had said something nice to him. Even conversations had been so rare, at least for what went above the usual insults or half-hearted questions if he was even alright.

For a person like Light Yagami to offer to get along... It was an odd feeling. Teru couldn't help but feel a bit threatened and cornered. He did not know what this would guide him into and if it would make things better or worse. He only knew Light from what he had seen and that did not necessarily have to mean a thing.
Then again, he had always liked the way Light lived his live ... and he could not get any more miserable than he was now anyway.
And if he was honest with himself the idea of just... getting along with someone again was nice. Which was just why he should not place much hope and trust in it.

He smiled a bit as well and nodded, unsure what to even say. "Yes... That'd be nice."
And all lacking trust and worries aside, he was just a tiny bit happy, a feeling he could just not surpress.